Funny Quotes - Funny Sayings - Funniest Quotations

First law on holes - when you're in one, stop digging.
- Denis Healey

Football is all very well a good game for rough girls, but not for delicate boys.
- Oscar Wilde

For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.
- Woody Allen

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
- John F. Kennedy

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
- Groucho Marx

Give a man a free hand and he'll try to put it all over you.
- Mae West

Give me chastity and continence, but not yet!
- Saint Augustine

Giving up smoking is easy. I've done it hundreds of times.
- Anonymous, often erroneously attributed to Mark Twain

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.
- Mae West

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
- Will Rogers