Eagles may soar high, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
- David Brent

Eat my shorts.
- Bart Simpson

English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!
- Homer Simpson

Epitaph for a dead waiter - God finally caught his eye.
- George S. Kaufman

Eternity is really long, especially near the end.
- Woody Allen

Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
- Will Rogers

Every man over forty is a scoundrel.
- George Bernard Shaw

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.
- Charles D. Warner

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
- Will Rogers

Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde