Funny Quotes - Funny Sayings - Funniest Quotations

When you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite.
- Winston Churchill

When you see a married couple coming down the street, the one who is two or three steps ahead is the one that's mad.
- Helen Rowland

When you see what some women marry, you realise how they must hate to work for a living.
- Helen Rowland

Whenever cannibals are on the brink of starvation, Heaven, in its infinite mercy, sends them a fat missionary.
- Oscar Wilde

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
- Woody Allen

Winning isn't everything - it's the only thing.
- Vince Lombardi

Woe unto you also, lawyers! for ye lade men with burdens grievous to be borne.
- Jesus

Women are as old as they feel - and men are old when they lose their feelings.
- Mae West

Women have a much better time than men in this world. There are far more things forbidden to them.
- Oscar Wilde

Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals.
- Oscar Wilde