Funny Quotes - Funny Sayings - Funniest Quotations

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to but they do.
They fill up with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
- Philip Larkin

They misunderestimated me.
- George W Bush

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
- Groucho Marx

To err is human - but it feels divine.
- Mae West

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
- Paul Ehrlich

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns

Too much of a good thing is wonderful.
- Mae West

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla.
- Jim Bishop