Thank God I'm an atheist.
- Luis Bunuel

That [sex] was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
- Woody Allen

That's the Irish people all over - they treat a joke as a serious thing, and a serious thing as a joke.
- Sean O'Casey

The Americans will always do the right thing . . . After they've exhausted all the alternatives.
- Winston Churchill

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet and Doctor Merryman.
- Jonathan Swift

The best way to behave is to misbehave.
- Mae West

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
- Brendan Behan

The Book of Life begins with a man and a woman in a garden…It ends with Revelations.
- Oscar Wilde

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
- Woody Allen

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.
- William Shakespeare