Funny Quotes - Funny Sayings - Funniest Quotations

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
- Woody Allen

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
- George Burns

Sex is an emotion in motion.
- Mae West

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.
- Woody Allen

She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
- Groucho Marx

She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on with a pitchfork.
- Oliver Goldsmith

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak.
- Woody Allen

She's the kind of woman who climbed the ladder of success, wrong by wrong.
- Mae West

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a LOSER!
- David Brent

Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle.
- Woody Allen