Funny Quotes, Funny Sayings, Funniest Quotations
Funny Quote of the  Day
For your daily dose of fun visit our:
Funny Quote
of the Day


Also Check Out:

Funny Quotes - Funny Sayings - Funniest Quotations

My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing will begin in five minutes.
- US President Ronald Reagan, during radio microphone test

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
- Ed Furgol

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
- Groucho Marx

My name is Saddam Hussein. I am the president of Iraq, and I want to negotiate.
- Saddam Hussein, to US troops who captured him in a hole in the ground near Tikrit

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
- Woody Allen

My parents stayed together for forty years. But that was out of spite.
- Woody Allen

My wife and I tried to breakfast together, but we had to stop or our marriage would have been wrecked.
- Winston Churchill

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech - every now and then she stops to breathe.
- Jimmy Durante

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.
- Les Dawson

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.
- Jack Benny

Funny Quotes Pages 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 |


PREVIOUS  NEXT





Copyright (c) 2004 AllfunnyQuotes.com. All rights reserved. Privacy Statement