Funny Quotes - Funny Sayings - Funniest Quotations

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
- Groucho Marx

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
- Spike Milligan

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.
- Spike Milligan

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen

More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
- Woody Allen

Most of the time I don't have any fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
- Woody Allen

Mr. Right is coming. But He's in Africa and he's walking.
- Oprah Winfrey

My ex-husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.
- Woody Allen

My father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.
- Spike Milligan

My feelings - as usual - we will slaughter them all.
- Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, on US soldiers attacking Baghdad


PREVIOUS  NEXT