I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
- George Burns

If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.
- David Brent

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then give up. There's no sense being a damn fool about it.
- W. C. Fields

If it sells, it's art.
- Frank Lloyd

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
- Woody Allen

If only God would give me some sign. If He would just speak to me once, anything, one sentence, two words. If He would just cough.
- Woody Allen

If there's one thing America needs, it's more lawyers.
- Homer Simpson

If work was so good, the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.
- David Brent

If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation.
- David Brent

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
- Mark Twain