Funny Quotes - Funny Sayings - Funniest Quotations

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
- Mark Twain

I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting.
- Mark Twain

I have nothing to declare except my genius.
- Oscar Wilde

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
- Winston Churchill

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
- Spike Milligan

I just love Chinese food. My favourite dish is number 27.
- Clement Atlee

I like a man who's good, but not too good - for the good die young, and I hate a dead one.
- Mae West

I like children - fried.
- W.C. Fields

I like my beer cold…my TV loud…and my homosexuals flaming.
- Homer Simpson

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner